I started 2024 at home, with my family and friends. Flying across the globe after a year and half, seeing my parents and best friends, felt so right. Their smiles were like yesterday but here we are, at the end of 2024.
If I’m quantifying my 2024… I read 44 books, watched 34 movies, went to 9 states, posted 54 threads, wrote 6 blogs (this one included), and texted my parents every day. I stopped tracking my weight after college, but I’m in a good health and shape. Never complained about my advisors for one second, because their support and care again, were beyond my expectations. I keep loving myself and trying my best to love people around me. Overall I am doing a great job this year, life or study wise.
I started my second year of PhD. Honestly I’m not entirely sure how I am doing because my advisors always said I am doing great. Maybe they just encourage me no matter what, which I appreciate. I fully realize that I am not perfect at all, I could have given more to my study, but I sometime got lost in how to do it. Seeing other PhD students are making progress in their research, I keep reflecting on how I am doing. Certainly I am not in the top tire of PhD students, I should devote myself more. Often times I am trapped in a dilemma that my capabilities can’t follow my ambition. Often times it’s not how much effort you put in something, how much fruit you will get. Accepted the game of the world is not fair, but still struggling to find balance point where I can be who I am.
I failed in a lot of things. In my 20s, I gave up on believing in relationships. It was not because I was hurt or anything, now it will never be. Love is a scam of hormones. I don’t have trust issues, still try my best to be a good partner when I’m in a relationship. Just lost passion in romance. Just stop being too sad when things don’t work out. Any type of relationship ends up in trivia.
I worked out less when my second semester started because my schedule became too packed. I was on campus from 720 to 8. I was surprised that I could stay in this schedule for the whole semester and not got crazy. It turned out that I might really be a workaholic. To be honest, I truly enjoyed when I work. Working is my way of achieving my self value. Next semester my class workload will be much less, I will go to the gym more often. Being strict with myself in every way is enjoyable itself.
Meeting new people makes me feel alive. I went to conferences, travled, and socialized a lot when new semester started and new students came to Knoxville. Feel safe to say that I am liked overall. One thing I am pretty proud of myself is, I don’t stop talking to my old friends when I make new friends. Some people calculate who devotes more in freidnship, I don’t mind being the one who maintain the relationship. However, I do need to build my emotional intelligence. Sometimes, or often times, I say things without thinking twice. Thank you everyone for tolerating. I am aware that sometimes I hurt people.
2024 is a good year in general. I am happy with myself and people around me. My heart is full of gratitude and hope. Welcome to 2025, my friend.